Skip to main content

An open letter to an old friend

To my old friend,

How I yearn for your sweet embrace that calms my nerves whenever I am tormented with the demands of life. It’s been years since the last time I saw you. How long was it? I am sorry; I really am because I can’t remember anymore. I was so busy growing up that I lost track of counting the years that quickly passed without you.

Have I told you before the story of how I met you? If my memory serves me right, I think I haven’t had the chance to sit with you and talk about how everything started. So here it goes, our love story.

I was in high school, when I started feeling something in my head. At first, I cannot explain how it was because it’s too painful that I can’t even think straight. You know the feeling of being hammered ten times in your head? Yeah, I might be exaggerating, but that’s how excruciating the pain was. Whenever I open my eyes, it seems though that I am in a different dimension of the universe because everything is spinning around. What I hate the most is when I feel like throwing up. It irritates me that I just opt to lay on my bed and sleep.

 When my mother observed my sluggishness; she kept on nagging me that made me furious. It’s too bad of me to act that way towards my mother, yeah, I know, it’s my fault anyway please don’t be mad. When she learned that I suffered silently because of my headache, we went straight to your place. I admit I wasn’t excited. I didn’t like the idea of having you in my life because I know how my life would change if I will welcome you. Anyway, I was left with no options since I really needed your company and comfort.

The first time I held you in my sweaty palm, I hated you. Yes, my apologies, for I felt that towards you. I bet you know the reason because you were with me all the time. I will never forget how I looked the first time I put you on my face. It was terrible. I looked like a lost kid without any friends in the school. But you know what; others told me that I looked great in your company.

It was awkward at first walking with you because my classmates were glaring at me like I have something unusual on my face. I was a subject of attention for weeks and I hated it. In all honesty, I loathed you for ruining my peaceful life. I just wanted to feel good, but you made everything worse, which made me decide to scratch you from my life once and for all.

I dumped you somewhere that I can no longer remember where since I really don’t like to see you anymore, ever. Days without you seemed like a strange feeling for me. I felt incomplete. Little did I know that I am already accustomed to your presence that made my weary days lovely and light.  My headache became worse, my eyes felt like burning, and I was nauseous whenever I tried to do something. Then I realized that I needed you more than ever in my life.

I was clouded with my own thoughts that I didn’t see how important your role in my growth and health was. I am really sorry for abandoning you. I realize now that I should have treated you better.

But we certainly accomplished a lot of great work together. In those moments that everything seems so blurry, you were right there, ever ready to assist me in seeing things clearer. You are a big part of me, and I am who I am today because of your endless efforts and sacrifices to be with me even to the lowest points in my life.


Despite losing you countless times, I have found a replacement, and they are essentially the upgraded version of you. Don’t worry, I might find another pair of eyeglasses in the future; you will always be the best for me.


Thank you, my friend, for journeying with me.


Missing you so much.

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tuliro

11.5.2017 - 11:51PM Magigising ng maaga, papasok sa school, dadaan sa Chapel,  magtuturo, makikipagsalamuha sa iba’t ibang klase ng tao sa buong araw, haharapin ang sandamakmak ng mga papel, kakausapin ang sarili, tititigan ang laptop, uuwi ng gabi, magpapahinga saglit, maghahanda para sa kinabukasan, iisipin kung ano ang gagawin sa klase, magbabasa ng lessons, tatahimik ng ilang saglit, kukumustahin ang sarili bago matulog. 'Yan lang ang ilan sa madalas kong gawin araw-araw. Paulit-ulit. Minsan masaya pero kadalasan nakakapagod at nakakasawa na. Halos tatlong taon na ako sa pagtuturo at masasabi kong masyado pa akong bata sa propesyong ito at madami pa akong kailangang basahing libro para maging bihasa sa pagtuturo. Kadalasan, may naiiwang katanungan sa aking isipan sa mga pagkakataong napapag-isa ako pagkatapos ng mahabang araw sa school, “Masaya pa ba ako? Gusto ko pa ba ang pagtuturo? May patutunguhan pa ba lahat ng ginagawa ko?” Pero tulad ng inaasahan, wala akong makuha...

PAPA FRANCISCO NAMING MAHAL

Marso nung nakaraang taon ika'y ipinakilala Hinirang ng mga Kardinal at iprinoklamang Bagong Santo Papa Nagbunyi ang simbahang Katoliko, maging ang buong mundo Natuwa, nagalak at naiyak ang lahat sa pagdating mo. Bagong pag-asa ang hatid mo Panibagong umaga matapos ang mahabang gabi ang aming susuungin Bagong simula na aming haharapin Panibagong pagkakataon para sa Simbahang Katoliko Ika'y isang inspirasyon sa aming mga kabataan Inyong kasimplehan lubos naming hinahangaan Pagmamahal mo sa simbahan ay di matatawaran Wala kang pinipili maging sa amin na makasalanan Sa iyong nalalapit na pagdalaw sa aming bansa Na naturingang pinakamalaking Kristiyano sa Asya Muling uusbong ang umaapoy na pananampalataya Sa bawat isa, bata man o matanda, may ngipin man o wala Matapos ang mahabang delubyo Lindol, baha at malalakas na bagyo Alam naming muling sisikat ang araw At kami'y muling ngingiti sa inyong pagdalaw Aming munting hiling mahal...

GRAY

GRAY Walking in the middle of a starry night Holding our last picture that gives me euphoria I glanced at the photo and hugged it tightly. But in an unforeseen way. Someone robbed it, and he ran away. I chased the culprit. I ran so fast I doubled my effort But I stumbled I stood up, but I was lost. Lost in a foreign place A vast place where there is nothing but darkness I screamed for help But no one responded. I cried in desperation But it was no good I drowned myself with hopelessness. But it was a reckless decision. I looked up when I saw a speck of light. I jumped with gladness. I shouted with bliss. But it was only a strange thing in the sky. I smiled weakly Boundless frustration I continued running Chasing the light Believing that there is an end to this suffering Yet, I know that I was fooling myself. Isolated with my own thoughts Disappointed with my beliefs And I decided not to fight any longer. Not to continue t...